I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
