i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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