And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
