dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
