So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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