You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
