I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm passing your future prison.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i think i just lost a toe
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
