currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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