At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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