I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize