kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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