she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
