Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
