Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
