Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
