But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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