And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
