sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
