This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize