I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
