im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
