Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i out mim tonsoeep
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