normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
