there's paper in my vomit.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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