on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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