i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That accounts for only three of the penises
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
