Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
