You're completely useless in the revolution.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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