Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
