i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
