I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
