At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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