every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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