you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize