Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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