If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
