Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
