I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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