3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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