It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
