she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She's the barista slut.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
