It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize