I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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