The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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