Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
