you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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