I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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