Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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