Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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