I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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