Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
