is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
