He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
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I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
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I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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