And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
