Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
