hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
