just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
