Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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