i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
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