Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have demons in me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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