I want to stick my p in your. b.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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