So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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