Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
