Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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