ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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