sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
