Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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